This week has been a blur, really.

Let’s get real.
When Emily and I took this journey we were not at all prepared.
I’m sure you are all thinking – well yeah, duh Tara!

I mean how easy is it to assume you buy a camper and bring books and some food and the puppies and kittens, and absolutely everything will work out!
How irresponsible and juvenile.
Guess what?

Everything is working out!
Don’t get me wrong, shit is hard. There are days when Emily and I just look at each other hopelessly lost, not knowing where we will park our home for the night, and you know… that feeling is the worst. We have no routine, except when we feed the babes, we have no destination in mind – only a general consensus of direction. We are literally in limbo.
I have asked myself almost every day, what would happen if I just turn around and go home – pick up exactly where I left off, because we all know we could.
And the answer my friends… absolutely nothing will happen. Nothing. I am not doing this for anybody else but myself. I am not trying to please or prove anything to the public. So if Emily and I decide to turn around right now and go home – NOTHING is going to happen!! Man how freeing is that thought! How it took me 33 years to realize that I don’t have to justify my actions to anyone and I don’t need anyone else’s approval is crazy to me. I have always envied other people and their carefree life – from the outside looking in it comes off that I live carefree and go with the flow – but yall have absolutely no idea. I used to beg for acceptance and reassurance from absolutely every single person. And then all of a sudden – I don’t need it.

I am have been dealing with a lot of my past traumas and the way each one has effected my thinking, my actions, my complete disregard for my own happiness. So doing this adventure was finding my voice, finding my passion, my understanding of how I can continuously grow in grace and love. Do I mess up – hell yeah, literally every day. But, I am trying. I am learning that all people are just people, flaws and all. That loving them through the hurt can be hard, but perhaps worth it. I am finding kindness for people who have wronged me. And I am learning how to love myself. Every single day. I have always envied people who love themselves, like how do you really love your shit!? And I have a lot of shit! But quiet moments, slow mornings, and lots of kisses helps me to remember that I am lovable – even by myself.

This journey has been a mess from the start – but I love it. I love the arguments and the constant worry – because I am going to look back on this and know that we did something crazy, and we grew from it. I think I love Emily more because of the miscommunications and her stable maneuvers. I love that our dogs have been so adaptable to the craziness, I love watching the cats discover that we aren’t killing them with every car ride and they trust us more. I love everything about this mess.

This is a short post – mainly because I need to help pack down everything again, and load up the babes. We want you all to know that we think of our family and friends, often. Emily posted some pictures yesterday on our FB page – so check it! And peace out girl scouts!!

And if you all are wondering where we are heading to next – out west is looking really nice right about now!!

-Tara